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This config file:

DataDirectory /home/alecm/master/halfagig/hs1.d
HiddenServiceDir /home/alecm/master/halfagig/hs1.d
ControlPort unix:/home/alecm/master/halfagig/hs1.d/control.sock
SocksPort 0
Log debug file /home/alecm/master/halfagig/hs1.d/log.txt
SafeLogging 0
HeartbeatPeriod 60 minutes
# HiddenServicePort 19 localhost:8501
# HiddenServicePort 22 localhost:22
HiddenServicePort 80 localhost:10501
HiddenServiceNumIntroductionPoints 3
LongLivedPorts 19,22,80
#
# CircuitBuildTimeout 60
LearnCircuitBuildTimeout 0  # <------------------ ENABLING THIS WAS THE CAUSE
# PredictedPortsRelevanceTime 0
# UseEntryGuards 0
# UseEntryGuardsAsDirGuards 0

Leads to this stack trace:

Dec 22 15:46:19.117 [err] tor_assertion_failed_(): Bug: src/or/config.c:725: get_options_mutable: Assertion global_options failed; aborting. (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug: Assertion global_options failed in get_options_mutable at src/or/config.c:725. Stack trace: (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(log_backtrace+0x4c) [0x54c5ded4] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(tor_assertion_failed_+0x90) [0x54c7a020] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(+0xe1fb8) [0x54be8fb8] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(get_options+0x50) [0x54be90d8] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(circuit_build_times_disabled+0x24) [0x54bdc304] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(+0xe9234) [0x54bf0234] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(options_init_from_string+0x348) [0x54bf4c18] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(options_init_from_torrc+0x248) [0x54bf5038] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(tor_init+0x308) [0x54b3b304] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(tor_main+0x58) [0x54b3c88c] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /usr/local/bin/tor(main+0x24) [0x54b358e4] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)
Dec 22 15:46:19.118 [err] Bug:     /lib/arm-linux-gnueabihf/libc.so.6(__libc_start_main+0x114) [0x76ab5294] (on Tor 0.2.9.7-rc 6b6ad81c2e140d85)