Recommend a MaxMemInQueues value in the Tor man page

due to recent DOS attacks much incorrect advice has been tossed around on tor-relays regarding the application of MaxMemInQueues

many seem to believe that MaxMemInQueues should be set to 75-80% of available memory but this is painfully (in the sense of OOM crashes) incorrect

proper advice is to set MaxMemInQueues to 45% of physical memory available for the instance, assuming DisableAllSwap=1 is also in effect; 40% is a safer, more conservative value

one of my relays configured with MaxMemInQueues=1024MB recently emitted

We're low on memory.  Killing circuits with over-long queues. (This behavior is controlled by MaxMemInQueues.)
Removed 1063029792 bytes by killing 1 circuits; 21806 circuits remain alive. Also killed 0 non-linked directory connections.  

after which the tor daemon was observed to consume precisely 2GB per /proc//status:VmRSS

the aforementioned incorrect advice was followed in #22255 (moved) and the operator continues to experience OOM failures

another mitigation is to establish conservative linux memory management with the sysctl settings

vm.overcommit_memory = 2 vm.overcommit_ratio = X

where X is set such that /proc/memifo:CommitLimit is approximately 80% of physical memory (90% if 16GB or more is present)

The settings will prevent sparse-memory applications from running (e.g. ASAN instrumented code), but is appropriate for dedicated tor relays systems. Effectively disables OOM killer and should result in graceful memory exhaustion behavior, though I have not investigated tor daemon response in the face of malloc() fails returning null pointers.